What is this fekking i love a certain someone...?

my first love at met at the age os fifteen years... 23 n carnt get rid of that erfly feeling i tell myself hes doesnt want me nor care due to his behaviour after using me for a one nite stand plus me telling him i love him for him not to reply! i ofeten tink of him and try convice myself im wasting my thoughts on him and hes doesnt care bk but why when i think that in my head myn heart n gutt instint tell me different i think its my instink its so strong i can really feel it!!